Archive | January, 2010

Night visitor

31 Jan

I am sitting on my bed as i hear a loud but short bump in my house. The fan is on because it´s been a hot day and the night is very warm as well. I am thinking „it must be some leaf, a coconut shell or a piece of a tile that has come down, bumped into the fan and lies on the ground now“ and I do not want to look up from my lecture.  As i keep reading i sense some flattering in my room. It sounds too big for a bug and too small for a bird. I see a shadow moving like in slowmotion behind the moskito net. A bat!

It takes me a second to put my lecture aside. What to do? the poor animal is scared to death and flatters around in my room. I try not to scare it even more. As it flies just in front of my face i am fascinated by the movements: almost surreal it flaps the wings, it´s bigger than a bird and makes no single sound! Despite the drama of the situation a thought comes up in my mind: „How many unbelievable creatures are surrounding me here. How many types of flying animals, insects, snakes, dolphins, turtles, dogs, cats, rats, butterflies big as birds, monkeys, mice and and and… have i come across. How many wonderful expressions of the divine manifestation! How creative nature gets in expressing itself… fantastic!

Before losing myself in my excitement I switch the big light on and it hides behind the bed. I make a sound and it flies around again. How can i get it out of the house? Ok, i switch off the terrace light. They like the dark, don´t they? It escapes into the dark bathroom. Switching on the light in here does not help. I go to the restaurant to get help. My students come and we surround the poor thing. Finally it finds its way out of the bathroom window.

My friends are amused by my other night visitors: the frogs from the well that come out for a night hunt through the most interesting gates. And i am glad to have met a bat from close up.

Creepy greetings and good night wishes from India,

Kerstin

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Let it BE

24 Jan

Let it BE  (written on 12.Jan 2010)

It took a while to write another post. I simply did not feel like it the past days (before my little pilgrimage). i enjoyed my time here in India, there were changes i had to adapt to, i met many interesing people, experienced exciting things, learned new things and again understood some things and remembered others:

It is OK, to not feel like doing something and then just not doing it.

It is OK when things change. You just need the patience to accept the changes.

It is OK to not know what to do NOW and to just wait.

It is OK to say „i don´t know.“

It is OK to be sad and to show that.

It is OK to not like how somebody acts and to tell him this in a friendly way.

It is OK to do NOTHING.

Be like a bamboo- firmly rooted into the ground but flexible in the wind.

The end of something old makes space for the beginning of something new.

You can only be happy NOW. Do not postpone life to tomorrow.

Live YOUR life. Sharing is beautiful. But it does not make sense to live a life for „the others.“

Too many people pay too much attention on what others think of them. Who is really free from this, is really happy.

Freedom ist rue luxury and much better than piling up money.

Love is the greatest thing.

More soon,

sun from India,

Kerstin

Freedom

21 Jan

„All those dreaming of freedom sholud not miss out on celebrating, should be able to dance even on graves. Freedom, freedom, is the only thing that counts.“ I have the german singer/songwriter´s Marius Müller Westernhagens´ song in my ear and am humming it for myself as i am climbing steep rocks alongside the ocean. I am on my way to Gokarna- by foot. Usually people take a rickshaw for the 20 minutes ride. But i was feeling like having silence, solitude and adventure. I call it „me-time“- i need this urgently after spending lots of time with people around me permanently. And i am about to find out that i was right with my decision concerning adventure and freedom.

The pilgrims place Gokarna in the indian state Karnataka has been a setting for wonderful walks along the coast last time i visited. The absolute silence up here, far away from the lively action down in the pilgrimage village mostly visited by Indians, is the perfect background for deep meditation. That´s just what i need today. And so i made the decision to not take the comfortable way but go per pedes. Om beach, the third beach after Gokarnas city beach, looks stunning from above and lives up to its name: the two bays are shaped like an OM. Proceeding towards Gokarna, i pass a sweetwater reservoir. A local has collected water from it and is now carrying a big container on his head- alongside the steep cliff! I admire what those people can carry on their heads! I pass a tiny „restaurant“: a small hut made from palmtree leaves right on the cliff. And that´s been it with civilation! After about one hour i discover that i must have taken the „wrong“ way because instead of a path i find only big rocks in front of me. I enjoy the way nevertheless, the sight of the waves crushing against the rocks, and the only sound i hear: the ocean. Right next to my feet huge crabs jump into the water because i am disturbing their peace. I did not know those guys were that sporty. Continuing to sing the „Freedom“ song i follow my thoughts: as long as you are enjoying the journey it does not matter if you lose the „right“ path sometimes.


One more song comes up in m mind as the cliff gets so steep that i need to start climbing: „The joy of being alone“ by Elisa. I am thinking how beautiful it is to sometimes be on the way by yourself, to not have to discuss if this ist he right path and if one should turn around because climbing the cliff is too dangerous. I am just following my instinct. And my instinct is now telling me that the cliff is indeed getting too steep and that i cannot go on here. I climb back down and do not regret at all that i need to walk back for about 20 minutes. Freedom may be uncomfortable sometimes. But this way you may get to see beauty that stays hidden to those who stick to the beaten tracks and with the comfortable variation. I love my freedom and enjoy the view of the nature around me, being sure that not many people have walked here and for sure nobody will disturb my me-time.

I try a different way and climb up the mountain just before the cliff. I find myself in a jungle of palmtrees, thorny bushes and scrub growing on rubble. Now it is getting uncomfortable indeed. With every single Step up i have to make sure that the rocks underneath me do not give in. My hands are reaching for ledges, that then turn out to be only loose rocks and break off. I am soaking wet from sweat- but i am still enjoying the trip. It has been a along time since i last felt so alive. The clarity and alertness i need right now to not crash down and the adrenalin that my system is releasing, are wonderful. I remember a quote i once read in a book by Swami Sivananda: „You have got to stay insisting and persistent in aiming towards the goal.“ He was referring to enlightenment, finding God and the sense in life. I can feel how i am actually training those qualities in me because turning around is not an option here. I stay insisting and persistent. I am clear that i could just turn back and make my way to Gokarna much more comfortable. But i also know that i can make it this way. With every step i make sure that no rock breaks loose or that i don´t step onto a snake. Thorns are scratching my skin as i am fighting my way through the bushes. And finally i reach the top of the mountain. I am looking down on the stunning coastline and already now it is worth the way here. As i turn around i expect to see Kudle beach, which must be right behind the cliff according to my calculations. But- WRONG: i discover another cliff that is overgrown even more. Open your eyes and through it… ! I trust my instinct. I love my freedom. And i am grateful for knowing that there is somebody who loves me and waits for me and who is giving me the freedom the experience all this.

One good hour later i am sitting on the mountain overlooking Gokarna. I look down on the city and am glad to only see the people down there and not hear them. I am a little bit proud to know that no one may have taken the same way here today and that i made it despite all the obstacles. I use the wonderful silence for a deep meditation. As i open my eyes i see four eagles flying just about two meters above me. I had this picture in my mind a few times in the past. The masters say that when your visions come true you are on the right path. I know how the eagles feel. Free.

Sun and freedom from India,

Kerstin